www.our.relationship.com

Nick and I read a book together called With This Ring: Promises to Keep by Joanna Weaver. It was a gift from a good family friend of mine for our engagement.

The book offers many pages to write in. I don't intend to answer these on here, but maybe some of my friends would be interested in answering them for his/her own self.

What first drew you to your spouse?
What was your proposal like? Was it a surprise?

How did you tell other people the news of your engagement?
What is a bible verse that will be the focus of your wedding service?
Why are the marriage ceremony and vows important to you?
Describe some memorable moments from your wedding ceremony. What was your favourite part?
In what ways does your spouse show you his/her love?
Describe your greatest dream for your marriage.
In what ways has your mate’s love changed the way you view yourself?
In what ways do “opposites attract” in your relationship? How do your differences complement each other?
Describe a marriage you’ve seen that exemplifies how you want to live out your own wedding vows.
Write out a brief blessing for your spouse and your marriage as you consider how you will strive to love each other well in the years ahead.
What special way (a secret code, a phrase, a touch, a look) do you and your spouse express your love to each other that is unknown to anyone except the two of you?
What does the symbolism of the wedding ring mean to you?
What physical token of love other than your engagement or wedding rings do you treasure? Why is it important to you?
Write a brief letter to your spouse about how you feel as you anticipate the rest of your life together.
What do you remember about your first kiss with your spouse?
What has helped you and your spouse grow closer together since the time you met?
Imagine you have been married 50 years. What is the one most significant thing you would like to be able to say about your marriage?
Record the vows you made at your wedding.

I intended with this post to describe the beginning of Nick and my relationship and my thoughts on the whole process. So here goes.

We met at Spring Arbor University - our first meeting; although insignificant in its role in the beginnings of our courtship, humourous. I was visiting Kevin's dorm room with Mel (my best friend and her boyfriend). There were multiple people in the room yet somehow I ended up "flirting" (for the first time in my life - literally) with Nick. I'm gonna guess he started it, but I loved it.

That was it for probably 4-5 months, no contact, no thinking of him, nothing. Then school started up again. Me a junior, he a sophomore.... with me thinking, as I always have that I didn't want to date anyone except the one I would marry. (Who can guarantee that would ever happen - it was a hopeful wish). So Nick started coming over to "get Greek homework help" from Mel - my roommate and eventually there was less and less homework help and more and more socializing going on: watching Friends, Euchre, Are you Smarter than a Fifth Grader? Then he started sitting with us in our chapel spot - I don't even remember when that happened- and thinking about it is hurting my already headachey head hurt more.

The pivotal moment that I remember is when Kevin decided he should leave because as an RA he should have been on his floor not on mine where his boss decided to visit his sister who lived on my floor. He was about to take off with Mel and Nick - but Nick decided he'd rather just stay in my room with me..... AHH I probably felt like fainting. I was enjoying hanging out with him as a friend and it was fun to have 4 ppl rather than being the 3rd wheel with Mel & Kevin like I had been for 2 years - but I had never had such male attention directed only at me.

So I was getting used to him coming over and hanging out, and getting used to him not doing homework. Then he decided to try to hold my hand. Now there is something about touching a boy that is WOW. There is something about flesh touching flesh that I can literally not describe and it was more than I could ever have imagined. There is strength, there is declarations - she's mine!, there is promise, there is tenderness, and there is intentionality. To me there is nothing like holding hands. I think, if I had to choose between holding hands and kissing, I'd choose holding hands.

I've always wondered why my hands are so sensitive - I love when Nick lightly caresses my hand. My dad says he is amazed that his hands can be so rough and worn from his line of work, yet he can still feel the softness of a cat, or more importantly the soft skin of his wifes face and still feel soo much. He is in awe of Gods thoughtfulness for creating "touch".

Ok so back from that tangent - we've discovered that we hold hands and enjoy it. We held hands secretly for a long time - while watching TV in my room, in chapel on the pew so no one else would notice. (interlude: also a weird feeling when he started saving me a spot to sit beside him in chapel... I liked it and it felt weird) So I'm holding hands with a boy... and we're not "dating" but it had to be going that way, right? I start to freak out: but I don't know if he's the one I'm going to marry, he's a boy! I got really freaked out.... so I told him I didn't want to date him and I could tell we were headed that way.

If you knew me for the 3 long miserable days or if you were a part of the process you would know how miserable I was and he was. I heard from Matt (I think) that he was a wreck - doing things that showed his anger at me for "breaking up with him". I had people tell me that there had to be a reason I was so miserable. My brother told me that I broke up with him because I was scared not because I didn't like him. So I spent a good deal of time sitting - fully clothed in the best thinking spot I could find - the handicapped shower in the bathroom on 2nd west. I thought good and hard, and cried and wrote out my thoughts.... eventually I came to the decision that I needed to talk to Nick - so I invited him to a safe place on campus - where I thought if things blew up, I wouldn't be ruining one of my favourite spots on campus.

So in the fireside of Kresge hall, I told him how I think I was just incredibly scared. I told him my desire to date only one person and how ridiculous that was, that I could predict that. I told him I wanted him to move slowly in this relationship and take care of me, but I was willing to give it a try. So from there we walked hand in hand to go pick up my brothers Christmas present that I'd ordered from ebay at M&D.

Over Thanksgiving break, I stayed on campus as an RA and he had gone home. We talked over MSN and while I was watching Little Women or Pride and Prejudice or something (help Kevin..do you remember?) he said that we should go out for dinner when break was over. So the Tuesday after break, November 28th, 2006 I got ready for my first date ever all by myself in my room (Mel had a night class). Nick met me in the lobby and walked me to Chris's or Adam's car and we went on our/my first date to Outback. On the way home - right before we got to the doors of Uhall, I asked him if we were "facebook official" yet. He said I was just about to ask and then he asked me to be his girlfriend..... I said yes and now we're getting married in 287 days! He was the one I was going to marry! I did only date/kiss/ hold hands with one guy! Him: Nicholas Lee Everett!!!

I know, I'm a sap.